Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
