Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
