3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize