i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
