I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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