Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
