Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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