You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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