im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
