Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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