no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
