who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
