I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
