So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
