Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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