Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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