some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
organizing the empties. That sober.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
