Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
