I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
