He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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