did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
