Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
