laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
