I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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