Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
