Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
