Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
