I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
