i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she smelled like a LAN party
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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