she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
