I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
