I want to stick my p in your. b.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
