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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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