he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
