I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
