also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize