but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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