Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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