porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
