I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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