So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
