White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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