She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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