Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you will always have a special place in my vag
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Randomize