Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
