I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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