i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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