i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
