if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
