That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
