I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
