She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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