literally had 100 drinks last night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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