uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
